


could you tell me what's real?

by takesyourheart



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: F/F, M/M, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, also the minor relationship is sumitaba theyre here too, i just really wanted sumi in there, not beta read i sent like three paragraphs to some friends and that was it, this takes place about a year after the game ends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:56:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27287524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takesyourheart/pseuds/takesyourheart
Summary: Akira turned his head to laugh as he started to step on after her. He shouldn't have done that.Someone with choppy brown hair, wearing a tan peacoat in the middle of August, was walking in the opposite direction.Holy shit.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	could you tell me what's real?

Ever since he was sent back to his parents at the end of the last school year, Akira has wanted to leave. The house he grew up in doesn't really feel like his anymore, and he feels more out of place than he ever did living in Leblanc, even at the very beginning. It's terrible.

He had never hated his town, not really, but as he got older and classmates talked about summer camps and internships and family visits in Osaka, and Sapporo, and Kyoto, he did grow to be a little disillusioned. He didn't exactly complain when he was told he'd be serving his probation in Tokyo of all places. But after coming back, he couldn't stand it. Everything around him was too quiet, everyone around him kept a safe distance away, and it made him want to pull out his hair by the fistful. At least at Shujin he had Ann and Ryuji to stick with him when the other students veered to avoid him in the halls, and he hadn't even minded much then. Back at home he didn't even have his cat. (Well, he didn't for about four days. Immediately after arriving, his parents had forced him to call Makoto to rush over the same day and collect Morgana, and she almost missed the last train back. After a few days Akira felt like he would go insane on his own any longer, so while his parents were meeting with his principle the last day of spring break he took the train from Inaba Station into Shibuya, threw pebbles at Futaba's window until she opened up, and once again arrived at his parents' home in the early evening with a cat in his bag. They were very unhappy. They let him keep the cat.)

Akira has since spent every possible second he can get away with in Tokyo. He studied harder than he's ever studied in his life when he found out that third-years have off any extra exam days if they finish early, and spent the best two days he'd had in months with Yusuke and Haru. There was even one Saturday where, upon discovering he barely had any homework left to do, immediately grabbed Morgana and the overnight bag he has started keeping under his bed and almost ran down to the station. He only realized after getting off of the train that he hadn't checked if any of his friends were free that weekend, and he nearly started crying when Sojiro handed him a spare key to Leblanc and told him that he had made sure to leave the attic exactly as he'd left it.

The former Phantom Thieves' summer was much more planned out than Akira's daring escapes, thankfully. They made a spreadsheet schedule of whose house they'd stay at which week, where they would go during the day, and who got to choose what they got to eat every night. Haru had even convinced Futaba to give her editing permissions so she could color-code it. It all worked out almost perfectly, and the second July 21st rolled around and Akira all but sprinted out of his house without saying goodbye to his parents (they had left him at home alone again), his friends were able to meet him to meet him at the station together. He was already grinning before Ann and Ryuji half-tackled him and Futaba grabbed at his bag for Morgana.

Good things don't last forever, unfortunately, and Akira would have to go home the next day. The night before, with everyone strewn around Haru's (unfairly spacious) bedroom, Makoto suggested they spend the day messing around in Yongen-Jaya to wind down before Akira went home. No one had any issues with the plan, so that was that.

The walk to the train station from Haru's in the morning was relatively pleasant. Yusuke stopped the group about six times to point out the composition of piles of random objects they passed, which drove everyone else crazy but Akira appreciated. He was already starting to feel like dragging his feet anyway.

Actually boarding the train was a whole affair in itself; Futaba had made everyone step on in a specific order so that she would be properly surrounded once it was her turn, but it just turned into everyone except for Futaba and Akira shoved in a cluster near the doors. (Akira was the 'final piece of armor', according to her.) Ann had started to complain that the train was about to leave, Ryuji said his arm was getting pinched in the metal bar around the door, so Futaba finally decided she was satisfied and boarded.

Akira turned his head to laugh as he started to step on after her. He shouldn't have done that.

Someone with choppy brown hair, wearing a tan peacoat in the middle of August, was walking in the opposite direction.

Holy shit.

Akira, without giving it anymore than a half second of thought, jumps off of the train and rushes after them, faintly aware of the closing door and confused friends behind him but not really caring because there's no way there is no fucking way it can't be him can it?, but his resolve is broken slightly when his phone starts blaring the most loud and annoying sound his pseudo-sister had been able to find. He stumbles a bit trying to pull his phone out of his stupid jeans while still speedwalking through the station.

" _Akira? What the hell was that? Where are you going?_ " Futaba sounds almost annoyed, but mostly bewildered.

"I saw Akechi," he answers. "I'm gonna go get him."

" _You saw- what?? Akira, Akechi's dead, what are you talking about?_ "

"No, he's not, I'm telling you, I just saw him. He's still wearing his dumb coat."

" _You missed a train you were literally halfway on because you saw a guy wearing a jacket in the busiest train station in the city. Is that what you're saying to me right now_?"

"Futaba, I am _telling_ you, I _saw him_. I'll be on the next one."

And then he hangs up.

Akira panics for a second, thinking he'd lost the person he's chasing when he shoved his phone back in his pocket, but he catches sight of them again and runs as far as he can go before the crowd becomes too dense once again. The mystery person turns a corner and his breath catches because he can almost see their face and then he half-trips over his own feet because someone has grabbed his arm. He whips around to see Yuuki Mishima of all people grinning at him.

"Kurusu!" he says brightly, "I didn't know you were in Tokyo!"

"Oh, uh, yeah," Akira says, already inching away as politely as he can. "I'm just visiting some friends for a couple days, heading home soon, y'know, not a big deal."

"Oh! Sakamoto? You should say hi to him for me, I haven't seen a lot of him since you're all third years now. Takamaki too, actually, how is she doing?"

"Ann's doing fine." Akira glances over his shoulder. "Look, Mishima, I'm really sorry but can we catch up another time? I'm actually kind of in a hurry right now, so..."

"Oh no, I'm sorry! Go ahead and get going. I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, for sure. See ya."

Akira almost feels guilty for the speed at which he turns on his heel and bolts away from Mishima, but any guilt he would've felt is covered up by frustration when he realizes he can't see the coat anymore. He scans the platform a few more times, even checking a few stores nearby before giving up. He has to stop himself from stomping his foot like a toddler because he is seventeen years old and he has no right to throw a tantrum for being stupid and probably looking insane running through crowds like that, and he feels even worse when he has to make a real effort not to start tearing up. He's feeling properly embarrassed by the time he finally pulls himself together and turns back to wait for the next train, but he very suddenly feels like nothing because when he turns around Goro Akechi is standing there staring at him and his brain shuts down.

Akechi doesn't really look much different from how Akira remembers him. His hair is neater and a little shorter, and, shit, is he taller? He looks taller. He also looks about as wide-eyed and shocked as Akira feels, and his eyes are still very pretty. He's holding a suitcase this time, though, and not the briefcase he used to carry around with him before. Akira blinks at him.

He looks less like a ghost than he remembers him.

Akira's impulse decision is coming back to haunt him now because now that Akechi is actually _here_ , and real, and not dead, and not just some blurry figure Akira sees out of the corner of his eye from time to time he feels like his lungs have collapsed in on themselves. He thinks touching him to make sure he actually is real would be weird, probably, but he still really wants to.

His memories of the reality Maruki created for them have gotten fuzzier over the past several months, but if dwells on it too much he still find himself agonizing over the choice he made. He's never really talked to anyone else about it- even if the wounds are still raw, he has to pretend they've healed over, for everyone else's sake- and he doesn't think he's ever going to tell anyone else how he thinks about what would've happened if he hadn't turned Maruki down, how Akechi would still be here whenever he needed him, about the guilt and how selfish he feels everytime he even considers it. About how the guilt let up for a month or so afterwards, thinking about how Akechi had turned himself in to Sae before Akira could, and how it came crashing back down on him full force once he had the thought that maybe that was part of the fiction too. (Akira tries not to think about where that left Akechi. He never thinks about the engine room if he can help it. He can't.)

He knows if he had accepted, Akechi would still be alive. He also knows that if he had Akechi would've hated him for the rest of his life. He was never able to decide for himself which was the worse alternative, but now that Akechi's here, in the flesh, and not bleeding out on the floor behind a closed door, Akira doesn't know what to think. He can't really think at all.

He also doesn't say any of this out loud. He just stares.

Akechi, who is a real person again and, he cannot stress this enough, _alive_ , clears his throat and looks down at his shoes. Akira miraculously remembers how to speak, sort of.

"I- I'm- Akechi, what? Where have you been? How are you even alive? Have you been here the whole time? We all thought you died back then, Futaba couldn't even find you, how did you get out? Are you okay? Did-"

"Okay, just- stop talking for a second," Akechi glances around for an empty spot along the wall. "C'mon. Let's at least move so we're not just standing in the middle of the platform."

Akechi grabs Akira's wrist and Akira short-circuits again. Akechi wears different gloves now too, apparently.

Once they're safely out of the way, Akechi lets go of him and takes a step back. He seems kind of stressed; he keeps shifting his weight from one foot to another and picking at the sleeves of his coat. Akira still can't stop staring at him.He is definitely taller than he was, but doesn't seem much older anymore. It's like his... aura has changed somehow. (The mini Chihaya in the back of Akira's mind claps.) Akechi doesn't seem like he thinks he has to put on a show anymore; he's not making an effort to try and compose himself before smiling politely like he's on camera, but he also doesn't seem as angry as he did before, even while he was trying to hide it. It doesn't feel like he's trying to be an adult anymore. He just seems like a nervous kid who might also be a little annoyed. It's freaking Akira out, a little bit. He's still staring.

"I like your hair."

Akechi gives him a strange look.

"Okay. Okay. Listen to me, Kurusu-"

"Akira."

"Fine, Akira. I really don't have a lot of time here. I've well overstayed my welcome in Tokyo. I'm leaving the prefecture today. I did not plan to run into anyone today and do not have time for this. I'm sorry. It was nice to see you."

Akira starts like he's been shocked.

"No no no no wait- what do you mean you've 'overstayed your welcome'? Where are you even going?"

"I'm not going to tell you that. I really do need to go, my train is about to leave."

"Wait, wait, okay, sure, but come on. You've been alive this whole time and you haven't said anything? Seriously?"

"Akira, I _really need to go_."

"Can you at least give me your phone number?"

"...No."

Akira wants to kick him. He very politely tries to stop himself from thinking about how unfair this situation is. He does not try very hard.

"Why not??"

"It would be counterproductive. Trust me when I say that it's better this way."

"Akechi, what?"

"Goodbye, Akira."

"No! Just- here-"

Akira grabs a travel brochure off the nearby rack, fumbles and almost drops the marker he pulls out of his jacket, and scribbles down his number as fast as he can while keeping it legible. He absolutely refuses to let Akechi disappear again. There's no real guarantee he'll ever get a call, of course, but worst comes to worst he can do Futaba's homework for a month if he has to. He grabs Akechi's shoulder and shoves the paper in his shirt collar. Akechi looks like he can't decide whether he wants to shove him to the ground or strangle him.

"That's mine. Don't lose it."

Akechi splutters for a second, and eventually decides to stop trying to speak and settles for a curt nod. He pulls the brochure out of his shirt, puts it in his pocket, turns and rushes away to board his train, and that's the last Akira sees or hears of him.

For about four months.

* * *

Akira is back in Tokyo for winter break. His parents made him stay home for Christmas, surprisingly, but he somehow managed to bargain his way into leaving before New Year's. He'll only be able to spend a little over a week out of town this time, but he doesn't really mind- his friends are all free over break, even Sumire, and the higher number of snow days than usual gave them the perfect excuse to hang around Leblanc all day. The nine of them slept over in the attic, and made a habit of watching movies until everyone had fallen asleep using the TV that Haru just. Went out and bought for them. Ryuji had spent the rest of that night trying to convince her to buy one for him, too.

It's Yusuke's turn to choose a movie, which means they're currently playing Paprika for the third time that week. No one is really watching the movie; Futaba is passionately arguing for the weirdest plot theories she can find (mostly for Sumire's benefit and Yusuke's detriment) and everyone else is either asleep or on their phones. It's surprisingly peaceful.

Akira feels his phone buzz on the blanket next to him, so he glances at it to check the notification, and once it registers he sits up so quickly than Ann almost falls on the floor from where she was sitting next him on the mattress.

> **[2017/12/29 at 23:19]**
> 
> **839-XXX-XXXX:** Is this Akira Kurusu?
> 
> **akira kurusu:** akechi???
> 
> **839-XXX-XXXX:** I'll take that as a yes, then.

"What happened?" Ann asks, rubbing her eyes.

"Akechi texted me."

"Whoa, wait, seriously? Lemme see!"

Ann puts her chin on Akira's shoulder to see the screen better, Futaba shuffles over on her knees and tries to look over his elbow, and the others still awake look over from their places on the floor as well.

> **akira kurusu:** are you doing okay? its been a few months i was starting to think you didn't like the picture of himeji castle i wrote my number on :(
> 
> **akechi (!!!):** I'm doing just fine, thank you. And I'll get to that.
> 
> _**akechi (!!!)** is typing..._

"Hey, Futaba, where's the 839 area code?"

"Yamaguchi, I think? The city, not the prefecture."

"There's a lot of 7-Elevens in Yamaguchi."

"Go back to sleep, Ann."

> **akechi (!!!):** I have given this a lot of thought recently, and I've come to realize I may have been somewhat harsh to you in August. I hadn't been expecting to run into you or any of the... others at all. I still maintain that it is best for all involved parties that I keep my distance, but you very clearly have a lot of questions and I think answering a few of them is the least I can do to make up for trying to murder you. I also know you won't leave me alone if I don't.
> 
> **akira kurusu:** you know that if you didnt text me i would have no way to bother you right
> 
> **akechi (!!!):** Don't interrupt.
> 
> **akechi (!!!):** This is where I live. There isn't really anywhere nearby to meet other than the odd gas station so that will have to work. I'm assuming you're still going to school, so you can visit whenever your next break is. Don't make it weird.
> 
> _**akechi (!!!)** sent a location._
> 
> **akira kurusu:** woah this doesnt look like an apartment address do you live in an actual house now...
> 
> **akechi (!!!):** I don't live in a city anymore. Apartment buildings aren't exactly easy to come by out here.
> 
> **akechi (!!!):** Also. Don't bring Morgana with you. I have an actual cat and I don't think he'd like him.
> 
> **akira kurusu:** YOU HAVE A CAT?? PICS???
> 
> **akechi (!!!):** ...No. He's camera shy.
> 
> **akira kurusu:** aww okay
> 
> **akira kurusu:** btw ill be there tuesday
> 
> **akechi (!!!):** What?
> 
> **akira kurusu:** 👍
> 
> **akechi (!!!):** ???

**Author's Note:**

> hiii this is the first fic ive actually posted!!
> 
> if you like it feel free to ask me about it on twitter (@takesyourheart)


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